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Be faithful in your marriage covenants in thought, word, and deed.... One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.... A righteous father protects his children with his time and presence.... Together with your wife, you determine the spiritual climate of your home. Your first obligation is to get your own spiritual life in order.... Take seriously your responsibility to teach the gospel to your family through regular family home evening, family prayer, devotional and scripture-reading time, and other teaching moments.
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My dear brethren of the priesthood, I consider it a
privilege to meet with you this evening in this general priesthood meeting. The
priesthood is the greatest brotherhood on the earth. I feel great strength in
seeing your faithfulness and feeling your love and sustaining vote. We are
particularly grateful to have so many of our Aaronic Priesthood brethren here
with their fathers or advisers.
The subject of my address this evening will be more
particularly directed to the husbands and fathers. All of you who hold the
Aaronic Priesthood will soon arrive at the years of marriage and fatherhood.
Therefore, what I say tonight has application to all present.
I wish to speak of the relationship that a man holding
the priesthood should have with his wife and children. With a knowledge of the
plan of salvation as a foundation, a man who holds the priesthood looks upon
marriage as a sacred privilege and obligation. It is not good for man nor for
woman to be alone. Man is not complete without woman. Neither can fill the
measure of their creation without the other (see 1 Cor. 11:11; Moses 3:18).
Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God (see D&C 49:15–17).
Only through the new and everlasting covenant of marriage can they realize the
fulness of eternal blessings (see D&C 131:1–4; D&C 132:15–19). As a
matter of priesthood responsibility, a man, under normal circumstances, should
not unduly postpone marriage. Brethren, the Lord has spoken plainly on this
matter. It is your sacred and solemn responsibility to follow his counsel and
the words of his prophets.
The prophets of the past have spoken also of those who
may not have opportunity to marry in this life. President Lorenzo Snow said:
“There is no Latter-day Saint who dies after having lived
a faithful life who will lose anything because of having failed to do certain
things when opportunities were not furnished him or her. In other words, if a
young man or a young woman has no opportunity of getting married, and they live
faithful lives up to the time of their death, they will have all the blessings,
exaltation, and glory that any man or woman will have who had this opportunity
and improved it. That is sure and positive” (The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow,
comp. Clyde J. Williams, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1984, p. 138).
I believe President Snow’s statement to be true.
A man who holds the priesthood shows perfect moral
fidelity to his wife and gives her no reason to doubt his faithfulness. A
husband is to love his wife with all his heart and cleave unto her and none
else (see D&C 42:22–26). President Spencer W. Kimball explained:
“The words none else eliminate everyone and everything.
The spouse then becomes pre-eminent in the life of the husband or wife and
neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other
interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion
spouse” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969, p. 250).
The Lord forbids and his church condemns any and every
intimate relationship outside of marriage. Infidelity on the part of a man
breaks the heart of his wife and loses her confidence and the confidence of his
children (see Jacob 2:35).
Be faithful in your marriage covenants in thought, word,
and deed. Pornography, flirtations, and unwholesome fantasies erode one’s
character and strike at the foundation of a happy marriage. Unity and trust
within a marriage are thereby destroyed. One who does not control his thoughts
and thus commits adultery in his heart, if he does not repent, shall not have
the Spirit, but shall deny the faith and shall fear (see D&C 42:23; D&C
63:16).
A man who holds the priesthood has reverence for motherhood.
Mothers are given a sacred privilege to “bear the souls of men; for herein is
the work of [the] Father continued, that he may be glorified” (D&C 132:63).
The First Presidency has said: “Motherhood is near to
divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind” (in
James R. Clark, comp., Messages of the First Presidency, 6 vols., Salt Lake
City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 6:178). The priesthood cannot work out its destiny,
nor can God’s purposes be fulfilled, without our helpmates. Mothers perform a
labor the priesthood cannot do. For this gift of life, the priesthood should
have love unbounded for the mothers of their children.
Honor your wife’s unique and divinely appointed role as a
mother in Israel and her special capacity to bear and nurture children. We are
under divine commandment to multiply and replenish the earth and to bring up
our children and grandchildren in light and truth (see Moses 2:28; D&C
93:40). You share, as a loving partner, the care of the children. Help her to
manage and keep up your home. Help teach, train, and discipline your children.
You should express regularly to your wife and children
your reverence and respect for her. Indeed, one of the greatest things a father
can do for his children is to love their mother.
A man who holds the priesthood regards the family as
ordained of God. Your leadership of the family is your most important and
sacred responsibility. The family is the most important unit in time and in
eternity and, as such, transcends every other interest in life.
We reiterate what was stated by President David O. McKay:
“No other success [in life] can compensate for failure in the home” (David O.
McKay quoting J. E. McCulloch, “Home: the Savior of Civilization,” in
Conference Report, Apr. 1935, p. 116) and President Harold B. Lee: “The most
important of the Lord’s work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of
our own homes” (Harold B. Lee, Stand Ye in Holy Places, Salt Lake City: Deseret
Book Co., 1974, p. 255). Effective family leadership, brethren, requires both
quantity and quality time. The teaching and governance of the family must not
be left to your wife alone, to society, to school, or even the Church.
A man who holds the priesthood accepts his wife as a
partner in the leadership of the home and family with full knowledge of and
full participation in all decisions relating thereto. Of necessity there must
be in the Church and in the home a presiding officer (see D&C 107:21). By
divine appointment, the responsibility to preside in the home rests upon the
priesthood holder (see Moses 4:22). The Lord intended that the wife be a
helpmeet for man (meet means equal)—that is, a companion equal and necessary in
full partnership. Presiding in righteousness necessitates a shared
responsibility between husband and wife; together you act with knowledge and
participation in all family matters. For a man to operate independent of or
without regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family
is to exercise unrighteous dominion.
Keep yourselves above any domineering or unworthy
behavior in the tender, intimate relationship between husband and wife. Because
marriage is ordained of God, the intimate relationship between husbands and
wives is good and honorable in the eyes of God. He has commanded that they be
one flesh and that they multiply and replenish the earth (see Moses 2:28; Moses
3:24). You are to love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself
for it (see Eph. 5:25–31).
Tenderness and respect—never selfishness—must be the
guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and wife. Each
partner must be considerate and sensitive to the other’s needs and desires. Any
domineering, indecent, or uncontrolled behavior in the intimate relationship
between husband and wife is condemned by the Lord.
Any man who abuses or demeans his wife physically or
spiritually is guilty of grievous sin and in need of sincere and serious
repentance. Differences should be worked out in love and kindness and with a
spirit of mutual reconciliation. A man should always speak to his wife lovingly
and kindly, treating her with the utmost respect. Marriage is like a tender flower,
brethren, and must be nourished constantly with expressions of love and
affection.
You who hold the priesthood must not be abusive in your
relationship with children. Seek always to employ the principles of priesthood
government set forth in the revelations (see D&C 93:40; D&C 121:34–36,
41–45).
President George Albert Smith wisely counseled: “We
should not lose our tempers and abuse one another. … Nobody ever abused anybody
else when he had the spirit of the Lord. It is always when we have some other
spirit” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1950, p. 8).
No man who has been ordained to the priesthood of God can
with impunity abuse his wife or child. Sexual abuse of children has long been a
cause for excommunication from the Church.
We encourage you, brethren, to remember that priesthood
is a righteous authority only. Earn the respect and confidence of your children
through your loving relationship with them. A righteous father protects his
children with his time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual
activities and responsibilities. Tender expressions of love and affection
toward children are as much the responsibility of the father as the mother.
Tell your children you love them.
You who hold the priesthood have the responsibility, unless
disabled, to provide temporal support for your wife and children. No man can
shift the burden of responsibility to another, not even to his wife. The Lord
has commanded that women and children have claim on their husbands and fathers
for their maintenance (see D&C 83; 1 Tim. 5:8). President Ezra Taft Benson
has stated that when a husband encourages or insists that his wife work out of
the home for their convenience, “not only will the family suffer in such
instances, … but [his] own spiritual growth and progression will be hampered”
(Ensign, Nov. 1987, p. 49).
We urge you to do all in your power to allow your wife to
remain in the home, caring for the children while you provide for the family
the best you can. We further emphasize that men who abandon their family and
fail to meet their responsibility to care for those they have fathered may find
their eligibility for a temple recommend and their standing in the Church in
jeopardy. In cases of divorce or separation, men must demonstrate that they are
meeting family support payments mandated by law and obligated by the principles
of the Church in order to qualify for the blessings of the Lord.
A man who holds the priesthood leads his family in Church
participation so they will know the gospel and be under the protection of the
covenants and ordinances. If you are to enjoy the blessings of the Lord, you
must set your own homes in order. Together with your wife, you determine the
spiritual climate of your home. Your first obligation is to get your own spiritual
life in order through regular scriptural study and daily prayer. Secure and
honor your priesthood and temple covenants; encourage your family to do the
same.
Take seriously your responsibility to teach the gospel to
your family through regular family home evening, family prayer, devotional and
scripture-reading time, and other teaching moments. Give special emphasis to
preparation for missionary service and temple marriage. As patriarch in the
home, exercise your priesthood through performing the appropriate ordinances
for your family and by giving blessings to your wife and children. Next to your
own salvation, brethren, there is nothing so important to you as the salvation
of your wife and children.
Brethren, I have spoken plainly to you regarding your
responsibility as holders of the holy priesthood. If there are areas in your
life where improvement may be needed, I encourage you to make this a matter of
prayerful consideration.
I testify that this is what the Lord would have the
brethren of the priesthood receive at this time. May you be blessed in your
efforts to be righteous husbands and fathers, I pray as I bear solemn witness
of the truthfulness of that which has been spoken this evening and do so in the
name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
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