Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Teaching Children By Example and Instruction

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Parents are responsible to teach their children
Q Why are parents responsible to teach their children the gospel? Why can't parents just leave this up to the church?

Q What are the risks when parents don't fulfill this responsibility? Who will teach them instead?

1. “Not long after we were married, we... planted... a wisp of a tree, perhaps three-quarters of an inch in diameter. It was so supple that I could bend it with ease in any direction. I paid little attention to it as the years passed. Then one winter day, when the tree was barren of leaves, I chanced to look out the window at it. I noticed that it was leaning to the west, misshapen and out of balance. I could scarcely believe it. I went out and braced myself against it as if to push it upright. But the trunk was now nearly a foot in diameter. My strength was as nothing against it.… When it was first planted, a piece of string would have held it in place against the forces of the wind. I could have and should have supplied that string with ever so little effort. But I did not, and it bent to the forces that came against it.”

“I have seen a similar thing, many times, in children whose lives I have observed. The parents who brought them into the world seem almost to have abdicated their responsibility. The results have been tragic. A few simple anchors would have given them the strength to withstand the forces that have shaped their lives” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, 420).

2. “We cannot and we must not allow the school, community, television, or even Church organizations to establish our children’s values. The Lord has placed this duty with mothers and fathers. It is one from which we cannot escape and one that cannot be delegated. Others may help, but parents remain accountable” (M. Russell Ballard, in Conference Report, Apr. 1991, 106; or Ensign, May 1991, 79–80).

Teaching By Example
3. “When parents try to teach their children to avoid danger, it is no answer for parents to say to their children, ‘We are experienced and wise in the ways of the world, and we can get closer to the edge of the cliff than you.’ Parental hypocrisy can make children cynical and unbelieving of what they are taught in the home. For instance, when parents attend movies they forbid their children to see, parental credibility is diminished. If children are expected to be honest, parents must be honest. If children are expected to be virtuous, parents must be virtuous. If you expect your children to be honorable, you must be honorable.” (James E Faust, October 1990 General Conference).

4. "We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do. We should set them an example that we wish them to imitate. Do we realize this? How often we see parents demand obedience, good behavior, kind words, pleasant looks, a sweet voice and a bright eye from a child or children when they themselves are full of bitterness and scolding!" (Brigham Young).

Children are always learning from our example, whether we want them to or not.

Q What lessons have you learned about the gospel from your parent's examples?

Spontaneous Instruction
Q What experiences have you had with sharing a spontaneous testimony or lesson to your children/spouse?

Q Why is spontaneous instruction important? Why can't I just stick with planned instruction?

Q Why is it important for parents to share their testimonies with their children?

5. "No child in this Church should be left with uncertainty about his or her parents’ devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Restoration of His Church, and the reality of living prophets and apostles.... Parents simply cannot flirt with skepticism or cynicism, then be surprised when their children expand that flirtation into full-blown romance....

"I think some parents may not understand that even when they feel secure in their own minds regarding matters of personal testimony, they can nevertheless make that faith too difficult for their children to detect. We can be reasonably active, meeting-going Latter-day Saints, but if we do not live lives of gospel integrity and convey to our children powerful heartfelt convictions regarding the truthfulness of the Restoration and the divine guidance of the Church from the First Vision to this very hour, then those children may, to our regret but not surprise, turn out not to be visibly active, meeting-going Latter-day Saints or sometimes anything close to it.... Live the gospel as conspicuously as you can" (Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2003 General Conference).
  
Doctrines, Principles, Applications, Blessings
·         Gospel Doctrines = Answers the question "Why?"; describes the overall big picture.
·         Gospel Principles = General guidelines which don't change based on circumstance.
·         Applications = applications of gospel principles which do change with circumstance.
·         Blessings and Testimony = Consequences of following gospel principles and your own experiences.


Doctrine(s)
Principle(s)
Application(s)
Blessings
1
The Atonement, Gospel of Jesus Christ
Faith, Keep Covenants, Receive the Holy Ghost
Attend church, take the sacrament
Have the fruits of the Spirit in life: increased peace, love, joy, patience, self control, etc.
2
Plan of Salvation, Eternal Families
Faith, Charity, Follow the Prophet, Law of the Harvest
Teach children the gospel

3




More harmony in the home

Family Home Evening
6. "Latter-day prophets have counseled parents to hold a weekly family home evening to teach their children the gospel, bear testimony of its truthfulness, and strengthen family unity. Stake and ward leaders are to keep Monday evenings free from all Church meetings and activities so family home evenings may be held.

"Family home evening may include family prayer, gospel instruction, testimony sharing, hymns and Primary songs, and wholesome recreational activities. As part of family home evening, or separately, parents may also call a periodic family council to set goals, resolve problems, coordinate schedules, and give support and strength to family members. Family home evening is sacred, private family time under the direction of the parents. Priesthood leaders should not give directions as to what families should do during this time" (Handbook 2: Administering the Church).

Tips
1. Have a long term plan (so it's easy to prepare a lesson in less than 5 minutes if needed). Examples:
·         Go through principles and activities in the Preach My Gospel manual
·         Lessons in Sunday School Manuals, such as Gospel Principles, or from the Family Home Evening Resource Book (https://www.lds.org/manual/family-home-evening-resource-book)
·         Topics in True to the Faith, or For the Strength of Youth; Personal Progress or Duty to God activities
·         Make future Family Home Evening lessons

2. Have lesson topics meet family needs
           
Q How do you identify family needs? 
(Holy Ghost, talking together, making time to think about family needs)

Share a gospel topic based on the answers to the following questions:
·         What is a struggle in our family?
·         What doctrines and principles of the gospel, if better understood, could help with this struggle?

Example: What doctrines and principles of the gospel, if better understood, could help increase harmony in our home?

3. Consistently hold Family Home Evening

Q Why is it important to consistently hold Family Home Evening? What blessings are lost if we hold it sporadically?

Conclusion
7. "May I address a rather specific aspect of [the] safety [of children]? In this I speak carefully and lovingly to any of the adults of the Church, parents or otherwise, who may be given to cynicism or skepticism, who in matters of whole-souled devotion always seem to hang back a little, who at the Church’s doctrinal campsite always like to pitch their tents out on the periphery of religious faith. To all such—whom we do love and wish were more comfortable camping nearer to us—I say, please be aware that the full price to be paid for such a stance does not always come due in your lifetime. No, sadly, some elements of this can be a kind of profligate national debt, with payments coming out of your children’s and grandchildren’s pockets in far more expensive ways than you ever intended it to be....

"Might we ask ourselves what our children know? From us? Personally? Do our children know that we love the scriptures? Do they see us reading them and marking them and clinging to them in daily life? Have our children ever unexpectedly opened a closed door and found us on our knees in prayer? Have they heard us not only pray with them but also pray for them out of nothing more than sheer parental love? Do our children know we believe in fasting as something more than an obligatory first-Sunday-of-the-month hardship? Do they know that we have fasted for them and for their future on days about which they knew nothing? Do they know we love being in the temple, not least because it provides a bond to them that neither death nor the legions of hell can break? Do they know we love and sustain local and general leaders, imperfect as they are, for their willingness to accept callings they did not seek in order to preserve a standard of righteousness they did not create? Do those children know that we love God with all our heart and that we long to see the face—and fall at the feet—of His Only Begotten Son? I pray that they know this" (Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2003 General Conference).


"As we faced the challenges of parenting [four young children] and keeping up with the demands of life, we were [overwhelmed and] desperate for help. We prayed and pleaded to know what to do. The answer that came was clear: 'It is OK if the house is a mess and the children are still in their pajamas and some responsibilities are left undone. The only things that really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening.'.... Because I know from my own experiences... I must testify of the blessings of daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening. These are the very practices that help take away stress, give direction to our lives, and add protection to our homes" (Linda S. Reeves, April 2014 General Conference).

Key talks about Strengthening Youth can be found at

Key talks about Strengthening Families can be found at

Key talks about Testimony can be found at

Key talks about Personal Revelation can be found at

Key talks containing Apostolic and Prophetic Warnings can be found at

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