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Parents are responsible to teach their children
Q Why are parents
responsible to teach their children the gospel? Why can't parents just leave
this up to the church?
Q What are the risks
when parents don't fulfill this responsibility? Who will teach them instead?
1. “Not long after we
were married, we... planted... a wisp of a tree, perhaps three-quarters of an
inch in diameter. It was so supple that I could bend it with ease in any
direction. I paid little attention to it as the years passed. Then one winter
day, when the tree was barren of leaves, I chanced to look out the window at
it. I noticed that it was leaning to the west, misshapen and out of balance. I
could scarcely believe it. I went out and braced myself against it as if to
push it upright. But the trunk was now nearly a foot in diameter. My strength
was as nothing against it.… When it was first planted, a piece of string would
have held it in place against the forces of the wind. I could have and should
have supplied that string with ever so little effort. But I did not, and it
bent to the forces that came against it.”
“I
have seen a similar thing, many times, in children whose lives I have observed.
The parents who brought them into the world seem almost to have abdicated their
responsibility. The results have been tragic. A few simple anchors would have
given them the strength to withstand the forces that have shaped their lives”
(Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, 420).
2. “We cannot and we
must not allow the school, community, television, or even Church organizations
to establish our children’s values. The Lord has placed this duty with mothers
and fathers. It is one from which we cannot escape and one that cannot be
delegated. Others may help, but parents remain accountable” (M. Russell
Ballard, in Conference Report, Apr. 1991, 106; or Ensign, May 1991, 79–80).
Teaching
By Example
3. “When parents try to
teach their children to avoid danger, it is no answer for parents to say to
their children, ‘We are experienced and wise in the ways of the world, and we
can get closer to the edge of the cliff than you.’ Parental hypocrisy can make
children cynical and unbelieving of what they are taught in the home. For
instance, when parents attend movies they forbid their children to see,
parental credibility is diminished. If children are expected to be honest,
parents must be honest. If children are expected to be virtuous, parents must
be virtuous. If you expect your children to be honorable, you must be
honorable.” (James E Faust, October 1990 General Conference).
4. "We should never
permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do.
We should set them an example that we wish them to imitate. Do we realize this?
How often we see parents demand obedience, good behavior, kind words, pleasant
looks, a sweet voice and a bright eye from a child or children when they
themselves are full of bitterness and scolding!" (Brigham Young).
Children
are always learning from our example, whether we want them to or not.
Q What lessons have you
learned about the gospel from your parent's examples?
Spontaneous
Instruction
Q What experiences have
you had with sharing a spontaneous testimony or lesson to your children/spouse?
Q Why is spontaneous
instruction important? Why can't I just stick with planned instruction?
Q Why is it important for
parents to share their testimonies with their children?
5. "No child in
this Church should be left with uncertainty about his or her parents’ devotion
to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Restoration of His Church, and the reality of
living prophets and apostles.... Parents simply cannot flirt with skepticism or
cynicism, then be surprised when their children expand that flirtation into
full-blown romance....
"I
think some parents may not understand that even when they feel secure in their
own minds regarding matters of personal testimony, they can nevertheless make
that faith too difficult for their children to detect. We can be reasonably
active, meeting-going Latter-day Saints, but if we do not live lives of gospel
integrity and convey to our children powerful heartfelt convictions regarding
the truthfulness of the Restoration and the divine guidance of the Church from
the First Vision to this very hour, then those children may, to our regret but
not surprise, turn out not to be visibly active, meeting-going Latter-day
Saints or sometimes anything close to it.... Live the gospel as conspicuously
as you can" (Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2003 General Conference).
Doctrines,
Principles, Applications, Blessings
·
Gospel
Doctrines = Answers the question "Why?"; describes the overall big
picture.
·
Gospel
Principles = General guidelines which don't change based on circumstance.
·
Applications
= applications of gospel principles which do change with circumstance.
·
Blessings
and Testimony = Consequences of following gospel principles and your own
experiences.
Doctrine(s)
|
Principle(s)
|
Application(s)
|
Blessings
|
|
1
|
The Atonement,
Gospel of Jesus Christ
|
Faith, Keep
Covenants, Receive the Holy Ghost
|
Attend
church, take the sacrament
|
Have the
fruits of the Spirit in life: increased peace, love, joy, patience, self
control, etc.
|
2
|
Plan of
Salvation, Eternal Families
|
Faith, Charity,
Follow the Prophet, Law of the Harvest
|
Teach
children the gospel
|
|
3
|
More harmony
in the home
|
Family Home Evening
6. "Latter-day
prophets have counseled parents to hold a weekly family home evening to teach
their children the gospel, bear testimony of its truthfulness, and strengthen
family unity. Stake and ward leaders are to keep Monday evenings free from all
Church meetings and activities so family home evenings may be held.
"Family
home evening may include family prayer, gospel instruction, testimony sharing,
hymns and Primary songs, and wholesome recreational activities. As part of
family home evening, or separately, parents may also call a periodic family
council to set goals, resolve problems, coordinate schedules, and give support
and strength to family members. Family home evening is sacred, private family
time under the direction of the parents. Priesthood leaders should not give
directions as to what families should do during this time" (Handbook 2:
Administering the Church).
Tips
1.
Have a long term plan (so it's easy to prepare a lesson in less than 5 minutes
if needed). Examples:
·
Go
through principles and activities in the Preach
My Gospel manual
·
Lessons
in Sunday School Manuals, such as Gospel
Principles, or from the Family Home Evening Resource Book (https://www.lds.org/manual/family-home-evening-resource-book)
·
Topics
in True to the Faith, or For the Strength of Youth; Personal Progress or Duty to God activities
·
Make
future Family Home Evening lessons
2.
Have lesson topics meet family needs
Q How do you identify family needs?
(Holy
Ghost, talking together, making time to think about family needs)
Share a gospel topic based on the answers to
the following questions:
·
What
is a struggle in our family?
·
What
doctrines and principles of the gospel, if better understood, could help with
this struggle?
Example:
What doctrines and principles of the gospel, if better understood, could help
increase harmony in our home?
3.
Consistently hold Family Home Evening
Q Why is it important
to consistently hold Family Home Evening? What blessings are lost if we hold it
sporadically?
Conclusion
7. "May I address a
rather specific aspect of [the] safety [of children]? In this I speak carefully
and lovingly to any of the adults of the Church, parents or otherwise, who may
be given to cynicism or skepticism, who in matters of whole-souled devotion
always seem to hang back a little, who at the Church’s doctrinal campsite
always like to pitch their tents out on the periphery of religious faith. To
all such—whom we do love and wish were more comfortable camping nearer to us—I
say, please be aware that the full price to be paid for such a stance does not
always come due in your lifetime. No, sadly, some elements of this can be a
kind of profligate national debt, with payments coming out of your children’s
and grandchildren’s pockets in far more expensive ways than you ever intended
it to be....
"Might
we ask ourselves what our children know? From us? Personally? Do our children
know that we love the scriptures? Do they see us reading them and marking them
and clinging to them in daily life? Have our children ever unexpectedly opened
a closed door and found us on our knees in prayer? Have they heard us not only
pray with them but also pray for them out of nothing more than sheer parental
love? Do our children know we believe in fasting as something more than an
obligatory first-Sunday-of-the-month hardship? Do they know that we have fasted
for them and for their future on days about which they knew nothing? Do they
know we love being in the temple, not least because it provides a bond to them
that neither death nor the legions of hell can break? Do they know we love and
sustain local and general leaders, imperfect as they are, for their willingness
to accept callings they did not seek in order to preserve a standard of
righteousness they did not create? Do those children know that we love God with
all our heart and that we long to see the face—and fall at the feet—of His Only
Begotten Son? I pray that they know this" (Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2003
General Conference).
"As
we faced the challenges of parenting [four young children] and keeping up with
the demands of life, we were [overwhelmed and] desperate for help. We prayed
and pleaded to know what to do. The answer that came was clear: 'It is OK if
the house is a mess and the children are still in their pajamas and some
responsibilities are left undone. The only things that really need to be
accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family
home evening.'.... Because I know from my own experiences... I must testify of
the blessings of daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home
evening. These are the very practices that help take away stress, give
direction to our lives, and add protection to our homes" (Linda S. Reeves,
April 2014 General Conference).
Key talks about Strengthening Youth can be found at
Key talks about Strengthening Families can be found at
Key talks about Testimony can be found at
Key talks about Personal Revelation can be found at
Key talks containing Apostolic and Prophetic Warnings can be
found at
