Introduction
1. "In the world today, many people dismiss and
even mock marriage and the family. Amid such confusing and destructive voices,
the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles provide the consistent
voice of truth. They “solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman
is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the
eternal destiny of His children” (see “The Family: A Proclamation to the
World,”)....
"In our
Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness, a man and a woman can be sealed to one
another for time and all eternity. Those who are sealed in the temple have the
assurance that their relationship will continue forever if they are true to
their covenants. They know that nothing, not even death, can permanently
separate them.
"The
covenant of eternal marriage is necessary for exaltation. The Lord revealed
through Joseph Smith: “In the celestial glory there are three heavens or
degrees; and in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order
of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; and
if he does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter into the other, but that is
the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase” (D&C 131:1–4)"
(True to the Faith, Marriage).
2. "Through your faith and personal righteousness
in keeping the commandments of the Lord Jesus Christ, you can qualify for all
of the blessings our Heavenly Father has promised to His obedient children.
Some of you may not have an opportunity in mortality to fulfill every righteous
desire of your heart. But you can be certain that no eternal blessing will be
denied you if you remain faithful and live the principles of the gospel
throughout your earthly life" (M. Russell Ballard, October 1991 General
Conference).
Eternal Marriage Must Be Performed by Proper
Authority in the Temple
4. "The divine plan of happiness enables family
relationships to endure beyond the grave. Marriage, however, can be eternal
only when authorized priesthood holders perform the sealing ordinance in sacred
temples and when husbands and wives who have been sealed together keep the
covenants they have made" (Preach My Gospel).
Q Why must a marriage be performed by proper
authority in the temple to be eternal?
"If we
are married by any authority other than by the priesthood in a temple, the
marriage is for this life only. After death, the marriage partners have no
claim on each other or on their children. An eternal marriage gives us the
opportunity to continue as families after this life" (Gospel Principles,
Eternal Marriage).
Q What must sealed couples do to keep the covenant of
eternal marriage?
- Seek to make their marriage celestial in quality (so they want it to last forever)
- "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else" (D&C 42:22).
- “The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse” (Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle [1972], 143).
- Teach their children the gospel.
Q What are the blessings of an eternal marriage in
this life?
·
Eternal perspective; peace and strength during trials
·
Greater commitment to success and happiness of marriage and family
·
Outpouring of the Spirit in our marriage and homes
We Must Prepare for an Eternal Marriage (From Gospel Principles,
Eternal Marriage)
An eternal
marriage should be the goal of every Latter-day Saint. This is true even for
those already married by civil law. To prepare for an eternal marriage takes
much thought and prayer. Only members of the Church who live righteously are
permitted to enter the temple (see D&C 97:15–17). We do not suddenly decide
one day that we want to be married in the temple, then enter the temple that
day and get married. We must first meet certain requirements.
Before we can
go to the temple, we must be active, worthy members of the Church for at least
one year. Men must hold the Melchizedek Priesthood. We must be interviewed by
the branch president or bishop. If he finds us worthy, he will give us a temple
recommend. If we are not worthy, he will counsel with us and help us set goals
to become worthy to go to the temple.
Q What does it mean to be active in the church?
·
Attend church virtually every Sunday and serve in the church.
After we
receive a recommend from our bishop or branch president, we must be interviewed
by the stake president or the mission president. We are asked questions like
the following in interviews for a temple recommend:
1. Do you
have faith in and a testimony of God, the Eternal Father; His Son, Jesus
Christ; and the Holy Ghost? Do you have a firm testimony of the restored
gospel?
2. Do you
sustain the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the
prophet, seer, and revelator? Do you recognize him as the only person on earth
authorized to exercise all priesthood keys?
3. Do you
live the law of chastity?
4. Are you a
full-tithe payer?
5. Do you
keep the Word of Wisdom?
6. Are you
honest in your dealings with others?
7. Do you strive
to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and priesthood
meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of
the gospel?
When you ask
for a temple recommend, you should remember that entering the temple is a
sacred privilege. It is a serious act, not something to be taken lightly. We
must seek earnestly to obey every covenant that we make in the temple. The Lord
has said that if we are true and faithful, we will enter into our exaltation.
We will become like our Heavenly Father. (See D&C 132:19–20.) Temple
marriage is worth any sacrifice. It is a way of obtaining eternal blessings
beyond measure.
Q What other suggestions do you have to prepare for
an eternal marriage?
Q How can we help youth prepare for eternal marriage?
Responding to Challenges in Marriage
5. “When troubles come,
the parties to a contractual
marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will
stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when
troubles come to a covenant
marriage, the husband and wife work them through. … Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each
give 100 percent.
“Marriage
is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will.
Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the “hireling,” who
performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in
return. When the hireling “seeth the wolf coming,” he “leaveth the sheep, and
fleeth … because he … careth not for the sheep.” By contrast, the Savior said,
“I am the good shepherd, … and I lay down my life for the sheep.” Many
people today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea
is wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents’ hearts away from their children
and from each other” (Bruce C. Hafen, October 1996 General Conference).
Q How can these
scriptures apply to husbands and wives as they respond to challenges in
everyday life?
"And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another" (Mosiah 18:21).
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another" (John 13: 34-35).
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:29, 31-32).
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God" (James 1:19-20).
"For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away" (3 Nephi 11:29-30).
"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile— Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death" (D&C 121:41-44).
"Therefore, strengthen your brethren in all your conversation, in all your prayers, in all your exhortations, and in all your doings. And behold, and lo, I am with you to bless you and deliver you forever" (D&C 108:7-8).
"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father" (Mosiah 3:19).
Be afflicted in each other's afflictions: “A
[husband’s] wife suffered for years from a disabling emotional disorder; but to
him it was always “our little challenge”—never just “her illness.” In the realm
of their marriage, he was afflicted in her afflictions, just as
Christ in His infinite realm was afflicted in our afflictions” (Bruce C. Hafen,
April 2004 General Conference).
Unity in Marriage
Q What are some attitudes or customs that keep
husbands and wives from being unified, equal partners in marriage? (pride,
competition, selfishness, criticism)
Q What can husbands and wives do to overcome such
challenges?
6. "Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles
exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon
them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you,
let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be
your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to
minister, and to give his life a ransom for many" (Matthew 20:25-28).
7. “I give counsel to
husbands and wives. Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your
companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray
for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want
to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion” (Henry B. Eyring,
in Conference Report, Oct. 2009).
Q What are some other things we can do to increase
unity in marriage?
Conclusion
[Registered
for silverware when married, didn’t get any so they gathered silverware over
years piece by piece. When they finally had enough for service for four:]
“Before
[guests] came, we would have a little discussion in the kitchen. Which utensils
would we use, the battered and mismatched stainless or the special silverware?
In those early days I would often vote for the stainless. It was easier. You
could just throw it in the dishwasher after the meal, and it took care of
itself. The silver, on the other hand, was a lot of work. My wife had it hidden
away under the bed where it could not be found easily by a burglar. She had
insisted that I buy a tarnish-free cloth to wrap it in. Each piece was in a
separate pocket, and it was no easy task to assemble all the pieces. When the
silver was used, it had to be hand washed and dried so that it would not spot, and
put back in the pockets so it would not tarnish, and wrapped up and carefully
hidden again so it would not get stolen. If any tarnish was discovered, I was
sent to buy silver polish, and together we carefully rubbed the stains away.
[The
silverware was carefully cared for over years,]
“For
years I thought she was just a little bit eccentric, and then one day I
realized that she had known for a long time something that I was just beginning
to understand. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently.
You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the
elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished,
you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you
have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.
Eternal marriage is just like that " (F. Burton Howard, April 2003 General
Conference).
Key talks about Strengthening
Families can be found at
Key talks about Temples
can be found at
Key talks about the
Plan of Salvation can be found at
Key talks about Covenants
can be found at
